A weekend of verbal gems

Overheard as I am getting ready:

Christian: "Jack, this is not a party it's my bedroom" followed by "Hold still, Jack, I'm looking for lint in your belly button." (For the record, I have NEVER looked for lint in my children's belly buttons, so I have no idea where that came from.)

Shortly after, I could hear some crying and fighting (turns out, despite a house full of blankets there is only one desirable one) and then Christian is full on crying, not just a whiny half cry. This is the exchange:

Christian: "Jack hurt me so bad."

Me: "Well, how did he hurt you?"

Christian: "He hurt me SOOOO bad?"

Me: "Okay, but how? Did he hit you?"

Christian: "Yes and he pushed me and I hit the wood (his bed)."

Me: "Jack, stop hitting."

Christian: "Are you going to spank him or anything? Cause that's what I had in mind."

Me: "It is, huh? Well you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking 2 little boys in bed in time out".

Christian, as he walks away: "Okay, I'll go lay down but no Jack in my room, that is my deepest thought...yeah, my deepest thought, no Jack in my room."

I'm not really sure if I want to admit my deepest thoughts at this point.

Later that day, we had gone to Wal-Mart. On the way, Jack fell asleep and since Shelley was with us she offered to stay in the van with him. After several times telling Christian, as he is getting out, to be quiet and not wake Jack I finally say "Christian, what part of be quiet do you not understand? (I'm a terrible mom, whatever)" His reply, "The part where you don't make any noise". Well, I did ask.

That was Friday, cut to Sunday. It's ward conference and the Stake Primary is teaching sharing time. Christian is always pretty willing to share but today that kid could not be quiet. He kept interrupting the president, giving her the 411 on what she was talking about and how he didn't bring his scripture reading chart because he didn't do it and sundry other embarrassing revelations. But the clincher came as she was finishing one part of her presentation and said thank you to the children for being participatory (directed to Christian and a couple of other kids who felt an overwhelming compulsion to share) and my 5 year-old Napoleon Dynamite-in-training says "I'm kind of an expert".

Oh, the cherry on top of the weekend of verbal gems.

A note about pictures: Jack in green hat made by Aunt Carylee (wouldn't take off for 3 days), also apparently making a train (that kid's got trains on the brain!) out of a roll and beets. The newest member (actually adopted in October) of the fam, Yoshi. On the way back from a trip to AZ. If you look closely you will see that Christian's nails are blue, Cynthia has 2 girls, her sister has 3 girls, he was lucky to make it out with only nails painted.